For as long as I can remember, I've held on to the belief that I am primarily Norwegian and English, with a bit of Irish and Cherokee thrown in. It explains my height, fairly decent complexion, and my dark hair. I spent a lot of my youth focusing on the English aspect of my heritage, obsessing about all things British before growing tired of it all. Don't get me wrong--I'm still proud of being English, but I just don't get excited about fish and chips and Minding the Gap and writing fav
ouite instead of favorite. For me, it got to be a bit put on. Still, I willingly explored that portion of my heritage deeper than any other. This is partially enabled by the fact that my paternal grandmother is still alive (she's the Brit) and also because I've been to see the family twice (I was a bridesmaid in a second-cousin's wedding the second time). Even when an even furtherly-distant cousin compiled a family history of the Thompson clan (little more detail on that coming up), I simply chose to hold on to the English roots, discarding all others.
In the last few years, I've latched on to my maternal heritage: my mother's mother was (so I thought) from Norway; her father's family hailed from Ireland. I entertained all sorts of fantasies of how an Irish fellow might court a younger Norwegian lass, and got lost in those thoughts. Imagine my disappointment when, over Christmas, my mother told me how she and her sister and brother had spent an evening going through their parents' papers (their mother outlived her husband by a few years and died in late 1993) and found out that we aren't half-blooded Norwegians. We're Dutch. And Norwegian. And, my great-grandparents met in Philadelphia and married at Christ Church. There's some story about how Great Granddad de Vries ran away from home at 12 and joined the Norwegian navy, before eventually making port in Philadelphia and never going back east. It involves plank-walking and pirate-knives, and seems far-fetched, but it's fantastic all the same. I recovered from my initial disappointment and started thinking about trips to Netherlands and Norway (ha!). I mean, my mother and her siblings have
addresses of where grandparents and family once lived. It might be interesting to travel over there and wander around the streets.
And I was all for pursuing this idea of researching my family history until my redneck past caught up to me. My father sent me a video with the explanation that his father's people hailed from Arkadelphia. As in Arkansas. As in: Does Not Want. And I had to admit that I knew this all along--that Arwillie Thompson, some relation or another to Leonard, my paternal grandfather, had, in fact, labored over the Thompson family tree, tracing our roots through the Midwest and South all the way back some centuries earlier to a Baron von Something-or-other in Germany.
While that all doesn't seem to be too big of a deal, you haven't yet seen the video. And the video? It's about a woman that gives CPR to a chicken. And that woman? She represents Arkadelphia, AR. I watched the video and immediately emailed my father and mother begging for them to confess I was adopted. Or, at the very least, LIE and tell me I was adopted. Because that gene pool? That gene pool is a large part of why I do not want children.
Or chickens.
Watch the video
here. The quality's not the best, save for the shot of BooBoo on the beach, but then again, that's Arkadelphia.