squirrella: (wistful)
To be sure that you maximize your candy potential, always wear a costume that is easily identified as such. Wearing your football/band/work/dad's uniform is lame, but better than nothing. Exceptionally cute costumes can merit as much as triple the candy. The same applies for scary, creative, and/or original costumes. Punny costumes will garner moans and groans and unless they are exceptionally punny will not gain additional candy beyond that which is outline below.



1. Children between the ages of 2 and 5 automatically get one of each variety on hand. This is usually a minimum of 3 pieces of candy, but can be as many as 5 pieces. The candy is distributed by the bowl-holder.

2. Children 5 and older get 2 pieces of candy, at the discretion of the bowl holder.

3. Teens and young adults in costume get 1 piece of candy.

4. Adults that are in costume and trick or treating with children get 1 piece of candy.

5. Anyone that has not made the effort to wear a costume gets briefly ridiculed, then gets something from the candy bowl. This something may or may not include an empty fist made to appear as if it is dropping a ton of candy into the shopping bag/pillowcase when in fact I'm just wiggling my fingers a little longer to mimic candy falling out of my hand and into your bag. These people don't even deserve an empty wrapper. Exception - dog walkers that have subjected their dogs to costumes: these owners, if they ask, will receive the candy of their choice because let's face it, dogs in drag are CUTE.

6. Anyone that shoves their arm elbow-deep in the candy bowl and is otherwise adhering to the above rules (man, could candy bowl be a new euphemism for vadge or what?) gets a stern look and 1 piece of candy. This 1 piece of candy may be accompanied by an empty wrapper, depending on the level of thrusting. Those that are additionally in violation of the Rules of Halloween will be given a disapproving talking-to and will likely be empty-wrappered (see Rule #5).

7. Empty wrappers will accrue proportionately to the number of trick or treaters. Peak 'treaters will be more likely to not receive an empty wrapper since the bowl-holder will be otherwise occupied and unable to consume as many pieces of fun-sized candy as needed to properly reward/punish offenders. 'treaters should gauge the crowd and try to maintain such a distance as to not overwhelm the candy distributor nor leave the distributor time to stockpile more empty wrappers.

8. The best candy to hand out isn't that which is popular nor that which is cheap but instead that which, once opened, can easily be made to look as if it's never been opened. These include Nerds, Jujyfruits, and other such packaged candies. Time aside, some medium to full size chocolate bar wrappers can be reassembled to appear as if they harbor a treat when in fact, BOOYAH, they bear a trick. However, empty wrappers of any variety are passable when coupled with one real piece of candy - if nothing else, little Suzy Sunshine will be consumed with self-doubt: "Did I really eat that 3 Musketeers bar while walking along the Ave?"

9. Wrappers of the candy consumed by the candy bowl holder are to be mixed in with the live specimen, so to speak, adding an element of surprise to an unsuspecting and rule-abiding 'treater. Sorry, Charlie, sometimes you just get nothin'.

10. Trick or treating should end by 7:45-8:00. 'treaters trolling around at that time will either be rewarded or robbed: if the candy bowl has a significant amount of candy remaining and it is candy that will be happily consumed by the owners of the candy bowl, then candy distribution rules apply as usual. If, however, 20 or fewer pieces remain and the remaining group of 'treaters approaching your station is 4 or fewer, they get to split the remaining candy as they see fit and can even pick what they want from the bowl.

Date: 2008-10-31 07:39 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] junebug613.livejournal.com
On Rule #8, when I actually decide to hand out candy (our street is VERY dark and there are only 2 kids on it), I buy something I will like, because let's face it... if hardly any trick or treaters come, I'm going to get stuck eating it and it might as well be something I'll enjoy!

Date: 2008-10-31 07:44 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] squirrella.livejournal.com
i think that's definitely an implied aspect! i always make sure to get one thing that Mike likes and one thing that I like, though the last few years, we've actually had to close shop early because we've run out of candy!!!

Date: 2008-10-31 08:00 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] bluewillowtree.livejournal.com
Awesome!

Date: 2008-10-31 08:39 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] lola-joan.livejournal.com
You should post this around your neighbourhood the week before h'ween. :)

Date: 2008-10-31 08:57 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] junebug613.livejournal.com
#10 Should also include the rule that if the outside light is NOT on, you do not approach that house for candy. I have turned out my light in the past and still had kids come "ringing" the bell.

Date: 2008-11-01 02:04 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] randallfam.livejournal.com
We passed out bags of microwave popcorn. Adds that special "is it really dangerous or not" element to the post-trick-or-treat destash. You know, with the potential carcinogens and the added use of the microwave.

Date: 2008-11-01 04:28 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] nitroincognito.livejournal.com
The empty fist idea is great.

Date: 2008-11-01 04:46 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] laurushka.livejournal.com
Rule 10 needs to be amended now that Halloween is on Daylight Savings time.

Date: 2008-11-01 05:06 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] squirrella.livejournal.com
nope - we were out of candy by 7:30 and Ainslie up our end was pretty much done. plus, it's still dark by then!!!! we didn't end up eating dinner until 9:30 - but that's more because Tiffin fucked shit up ONCE AGAIN.

Date: 2008-11-02 12:59 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] lampesalot.livejournal.com
Oh no, my one year old was definitely in violation (see #6). Although I think he managed to give it all back (and then some)!! These rules are fantastic and I agree with lola joan...they most definitely should be posted next year!!!!

BTW we have tons of candy because we never managed to sit on our porch so come down and trick or treat with the ghia...we will fill up the back seat for you!

Date: 2008-11-02 01:09 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] squirrella.livejournal.com
sweet!!!!

alex gets his own set of rules - show up and take as much as you want!!!

Date: 2008-11-03 03:57 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] auntiero.livejournal.com
5. Anyone that has not made the effort to wear a costume gets briefly ridiculed, then gets something from the candy bowl. This something may or may not include an empty fist made to appear as if it is dropping a ton of candy into the shopping bag/pillowcase when in fact I'm just wiggling my fingers a little longer to mimic candy falling out of my hand and into your bag. These people don't even deserve an empty wrapper. Exception - dog walkers that have subjected their dogs to costumes: these owners, if they ask, will receive the candy of their choice because let's face it, dogs in drag are CUTE.

I need to get this laminated and made into a big sign for next Halloween. We had way too many out of costume teens this year.

I will say that I don't limit the number of candy treats the kids take because I really don't want leftovers. Luckily this year we didn't have too much leftover and we managed to unload it at a friend's "party." (really just a very small gathering.)

Date: 2008-11-03 05:13 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] squirrella.livejournal.com
i only limit the piece(s) per person because we inevitably run out! well, also, i limit the pieces per person because i don't like greedy fuckers, but that's a whole other issue.

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